Friday, June 21, 2013

BRAVE

I so admire all the people who put their thoughts out THERE into the Great Unknown....
I'm mostly afraid to do that.
I want to be more BRAVE. To actually think that something I am thinking or experiencing could possibly be of help to someone else.....
BRAVE.
I try to embrace and believe that "All things work together for them whom are called according to HIS Purpose".
That MY Story had a purpose.
That the daily battle is worth sharing.
I've been struggling a lot with panic and anxiety lately. It comes over me in a big wave..... Suddenly I feel like I want to just jump out of my skin, that I can't breathe & I don't know how I will get through my day....or the next minute....that I desperately need RESCUED.....
I have meds....and a really sweet Therapist, who is ready with lots of advice. She seems to believe in me. She tries to give me lots of good options. She tells me I can take everything slowly. That I can do things on my OWN terms. Make it less frightening for myself. That I am a GOOD Mother and Wife. That my children will be fine....that it's OK to let them try some things on their own. 
Last week we explored the first time I ever experienced the fear that someone would leave me. That I was not SAFE.
Turned out to be when I was about 11 yrs old & my Mother & Dad would get into an argument & my Dad would threaten to leave us. My little brother and I sitting/standing in front of the door he was threatening to walk out of. Crying. Begging him to stay. It felt like DEATH.....couldn't breathe....
I could not imagine a life without him. He was our rock. What was this MADNESS??
Somehow things would calm. He would relent, and my brother & I would go back to bed to try to sleep, but how can you when your very foundation has been rocked and you've seen the cracks in it......??

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Morning in the Garden

I went out early this morning while my side flower bed was still in shade to do some major winter clean-up, weed pulling, dirt stirring and a little dreaming.
Made me miss my Mama a lot. Last year when I created that flower bed she was right beside me. Handing me tools, bragging on my mad skills and offering me iced tea. "You need to stop and take a drink, TriciaKay."
I can't wait until she is back in a few weeks! I love you, Mama!

I was having a few 'Jesus' lessons in the garden this morning. Like: be careful what you leave as flowers, they may very well be weeds that are going to take over as soon as your attention is elsewhere.

Be deeply, deeply rooted & not easily removed. Had a clump of tall grass that I had to use every tool in my arsenal to finally, finally pull out! It was fiercely dug in. I want to be that. Some of the flowers I was trying to carefully weed around had such delicate little roots that they were so easily uprooted & I felt sad. Trying to quickly stick them back into the dirt, hoping they will make it, but feeling doubtful. I don't want to be that. Lovely up top, but no substance to hold on with.


Saturday, April 27, 2013

LuLu


After several days and many cans of brilliant silver spray paint.....the inside of my girl, LuLu is shiney and silver....all silver, silver, silver! I'm loving it! It began with a can of silver appliance paint to cover the ugly brown stove and oven....then, I just kept going and going. 
I believe I'm going to enjoy it much more than white....it's bright and light without being too, too...... you know? ...and unique, of course, unique.





New Project! Meet LuLu!



I am definitely trailing sparkles....Everywhere!

I have a New Project and her name is LuLu!
SOOOO EXCITED!!

Lulu is my 1962 Santa Fe travel trailer that I bought from my friend, Holly and brought home last Sunday.

This has been a busy week of cleaning and prepping and PAINTing, Oh MY!!
Ok, not nearly as much cleaning and prep as painting. I'm always so eager to get to the good parts, I don't have much patience for the mundane, which means I have spray painted a whole set of lovely cobwebs in the corners.
Ah....just adds more visual interest!










Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Fun New Find


This is Kandee Johnson & she is just adorable!
AnnaBelle and I both tried out these nails. Mind are red w/turquoise, with sparklies & black hearts and Belle's are like the tutorial. So cute and rather RED Queen, which I LOVE, of course.
Check out her stuff at:  www.kandeej.com